While alcoholism being a progressive family disease,requires as a treatment process and procedure, the involvement of the same family. The inconsistent, aggressive and unpredictable behavior of an alcoholic develops a vicious cycle of increasing mutual distrust, suspicion, resentment, frustration and bitterness in this relationship with the family, especially with children. Children of these families live in heightened state of stress, confusion, hopelessness, anxiety and fear. Alcoholism affects the children with great intensity. This article explores the different aspects of social and behavioral problems associated with children of alcoholics. It also discusses how parents’ alcoholism affects the personality development of a child and how these children are often forced to take up certain roles and responsibilities. The article list the existing interventions in the country and strategies that could be adopted for enhancing the effectiveness and reach of programmes for families and other co-dependents. It suggests recommendations for establishing a specilised telephone help line for children of alcoholics, establishing communication between alcoholic and family, integrating services for such children in existing child care programmes, better education and training to enable professionals recognize the signs of family alcohol problems, working on interdependent problems of an alcoholic rather than focusing only on treatment and bridging the gap between community and alcoholic by organizing various community sensitization and awareness programmes.
Bhupesh Godbole a very reputed computer professional and he was making good money. He was quite well off and his two children were studying in one of the best schools in the city. His family was very happy and satisfied with his but he had a problem. He was addicted to alcohol. Without having alcohol he was not able to function, initially he used to drink at night but his family realized that slowly and gradually he was increasing the amount so they tried to prevent his from taking alcohol at home daily. This resulted in his switching from night to the daytime drinking and he started drinking in his office. He began coming home late fully intoxicated and when the family and children asked about it he beat them. Slowly his problem increased and after several warnings from his boss he was fired from job. After that his drinking increased further and he was totally dependent on alcohol. As he was the only earning member of the family the financial condition of the family started weakening. Soon they could not afford to send the children to school and the family had problems meeting their daily needs. Realising the problem his elder son started working in a glass factory as daily wager. The younger son did not have anything to do and he began sitting around with other boys of his age in the community. Gradually, his friends introduced his to the world of drugs and he started taking drugs with them.
It is only Bhupes, his family and children who are suffering from the deadly effects of alcohol and drug but several thousand other families too are facing the burden of alcohol or drug abusing behavior of their near and dear ones. The children of these families are bund to face the consequences arising from the abuse of alcohol and other drugs by their parents.
Alcoholism is an unpredictable, progressive disease, which not only affects the person who an alcoholic but the whole family (Charles et al. 1994) Hence it is called a family disease. A family is a working unit with each member playing their part to support and to ensure a functional family. If a parent becomes addicted, they might gradually or suddenly stop playing their part in the family. Hence, other family member are left with no alternative but to take over the alcoholic parent’s responsibilities. Since the others do not know when they will have to take over responsibilities, they, especially the children live in a heightened state of stress, confusion, hopelessness, anxiety and fear. Alcoholism affected the children with great intensity. While adults have the option of abandoning alcoholic relatives such as an alcoholic son, brother, husband, etc., children of alcoholics don’t have such a choice, as they are totally dependent on the parent living with an alcoholic parent results in children loosing their childhood. It become really difficult for them to behave normally. To others they look like any other child but from inside they are not the same.
When one really gets close to them, one notices the sadness and worry in their eyes. They might behave like any other child but actually they are never able to enjoy their childhood. They just try to behave like normal children but in reality they never feel like normal children but in reality they never feel like one and perhaps have not experienced what a normal child experiences. A normal child is free from all the hassles that children of alcoholics face. They are full of energy and do small little things to attract their parents attention. They are playful. Innocent and loving, but children of alcoholics do not enjoy these beautiful moment of childhood. They become very reserved, always trying to hide themselves. They can never be as free as normal children and most of them try not to “trouble” anybody. However, this does not mean that they do not want to come out of hiding, play with other children or talk to others, but they instinctively hide themselves. They hope that someday somebody will notice them, but until then they cannot really express their feelings.
In a family, children are generally ignored if one of the parents is an alcoholic,. In these cases, often all the attention of the family members is directed towards the alcoholics or his alcoholism. Most of these children experience some form of neglect or abuse (Black, 1995). A child in such families may have a variety of problem such as:
Guilt: they may see themselves as the main cause of their parent’s
Anxiety: the child may worry constantly about the situation at home. He/she may feel, the alcoholic parent will become sick or injured and may also fear the violence between the parents.
Embarrassment: Parents may give the child the message that there is a shameful secret at home. The child feels ashamed and does not invite his/her friend’s home. They also feel afraid to ask anyone for help.
Inability to from close relationship: these children may develop a behavior of not trusting anyone as they have been disappointed several times by their drinking parent.
Confusion: the frequent change in behavior of the alcoholic parent from loving to angry regardless of the child’s behavior often confuses children.
Anger: the children feel angry at the alcoholic parent for drinking and may also be angry with the non-alcoholic parent for lack of support and protection.
Depression: The child may also feel lonely and helpless as he/she cannot change the situation.
The children lose their identity and have a higher incidence of emotional problems such as anxiety, stress and depression. Although they try to keep their parents alcoholism a secret, teachers, relatives, other adults and their friends may sense something is wrong. Such children often face the following behaviorally problems.
Failure in schools, difficulty in concentration and truancy- Lack of friends and withdrawal from classmates
- Delinquent behavior such as stealing and violence
- Frequent physical complaints such as headaches and stomachaches
- Abuse of drugs or alcohol
- Aggression towards other children
- Risk taking behaviors
- Depression or suicidal thoughts and behaviors
Parents alcoholism has far reaching effects on the personality development of a child (Blum, 1969). The unpredictable, self centered, uncooperative, destructive behavior and attitude of alcoholic compel the child to a situation of continuous readjustment and compromise. An alcoholic father sometime when he is not drunk become very loving and warm. He does not everything one would expect from a good father and he promises everything child wants. The child feels that he is being loved. At other time,when he is drunk the same father becomes totally contrary. He does not come home at all, the child waits for him and worries. When he comes home he has forgotten all the promises made the child. Quarrels with his wife, beats the wife and the child too. The child does not know what to do and feels confused and frustrated. These children often experience disturbed emotional relationships with both the parents as they are so often torn between them. They cannot decide whether to be loyal to the alcoholic father or to the mother who take over the control of the household. The child’s emotional development is not only threatened by the alcoholic parent, but also by the reaction of the non-alcoholic parent to the other. For example, an alcoholic wife is frustrated, angry and embittered with the alcoholic, may either over-attach herself or totally reject the child. Therefore, the disturbed marital and parent child relationship with associated rejection, emotional deprivation, inadequacy and broken homes make it very difficult for a child to undergo normal emotional and social development. It also becomes very difficult for the children to acquire the capacity of experiencing satisfactory emotional relationships in other spheres of their live. These children might frequently expect evidence of emotional insecurity, which may result in the development of neurotic symptoms, behavioral disorders, delinquency and also alcoholism in the latter part of their lives.
It is not very uncommon that despite all their unpleasant childhood experiences and memories, some children of alcoholics may themselves become alcoholics.
Children of alcoholics often face behavioural problems too. They may experience lack of role models, start lying denial of the problem, lost self-esteem, depression and fear. In order to cope with enormous problems surrounding them and their families, these children are often forced to take up certain rle and responsibilities, which are either thrust upon them or voluntarily assumed by them. The several roles assumed may be identified as;
- Responsible child/hero The adjusting child
- Mascot/Placating Child Scapegoat/Acting out child.
- Lost Child
These children cope by withdrawing or isolating themselves. They deny their feelings, pulling inward, convincing themselves that their problems don’t exist and that they themselves are invisible.
Furthermore, alcoholic parents often produce children with congenital disorders such as fetal alcoholic syndrome, hyperactive child syndrome and a predisposition.
For a substantial minority of the affected children, the problems continue into their adult lives and, indeed, some children of alcoholics themselves become transmitters of the problems to the next generation. It is clear that children of alcoholic parents start of in life with many disadvantages and may often be in need of help and advise. Corresponding to Al-anon, the Al-Ateen fellowship is very good option in which alcoholic adolescent children try to help and support each other. The early detection of emotionally neglected children is a very important and difficult task. Just as the alcoholic’s illness affects his family, so too their successful rehabilitation also brings relief to several other people. Early detection and rehabilitation of alcoholics are important prophylactic measure with regard to the threatened maladjustment of the alcoholic’s offspring. The influence of the alcoholic’s conduct on the emotional development and mental health of his child should not be lost sight of when considering whether passive standby or active interference is the better course to follow in cases where the practicing alcoholic’s behavior endangers his family and when he seems unable to pull out of his drinking habit without outside help, while lacking the insight to ask for help.
Whether or not their parents are receiving treatment for alcoholism these children can be benefited from educational programmes and mutual help groups, such as programmes for children of alcoholics. Early professional help is also important in prevention more serious problems including alcoholism. Psychiatrists may also deal with the child’s own problems and help the child to understand that they are not responsible for the drinking problem of their parents.
The treatment programme may include group therapy with other youngsters, which reduces the isolation of being a child of an alcoholic. The psychiatrist may also work with the entire family particularly when the alcoholic parent has stopped drinking, to help them develop healthier ways of relating to one another.
Existing interventions:
Although there is a wide range of services and approaches to alcohol problems available in the country, specialsed services for helping family members hardly exists. Even though a few organizations have initiated programmes for families but they do not take care of issues and concerns of children of alcoholics. Many counties provide services specically for children in relation to family problems. In Eroupe, there are a number of telephone help line services. These help line are for alcohol related problems and general help lines for children and young people. In India though CHILD LINE, a help line for children is a available in almost 30 cities, there is no specialized help line, which children can access for the problem of alcoholism in the family.
Several other strategies for intervention with children of alcoholics have been adopted with varying degrees of success. A few of these include. *Prevention, training, treatment and research *Social welfare, health care and education which offers structured group work for children of alcoholics, and *Twelve step programmes such as Al-Ateen.
Strategies to be adopted:
*Education programmes should provide information about alcohol, is effecton the health of the individual as well as about alcohol as a potential social problem and the ways in which alcohol can disrupt social and family relationships *social service authorities should draw up plans for tackling alcohol problems in particular, for meeting the needs of family members especially children.
This would involve specifying the strategies for reaching out to children of alcoholics and ensuring that they have access to services, including those provided by NGOs.
*Schools and other institutions and professionals having contact with children should be provided with the education and training necessary for identifying and supporting children from problem drinking families.
*Free telephone help line geared up to dealing with enquiries from children as well as adults regarding alcohol related issues, should be available.
Reference:
- Bang, Abhay T. And Bang, Rani 1991, community participation in research & Action against alcoholism, World Health Forum, 12, 1104-109
- Black Claudia, 1985, Repeat After Me, MAC Printing and Publication Colorado
- Glatt, MM. 1974, Drugs, Society and Man, A guide to addiction its treatment, London.
- The alcoholic and the Help He Needs, Medical Counsil on Alcoholism, London
- Gopalan, C. 1978, Report of the national Committee on drug addiction, Ministry of Health & family Welfare, Delhi. Kapoor art Press.
Singh, H. 1992 Drug Abuse, Summaries of research studies sponsored by Ministry of Welfare, New Delhi. NISD.
